I was raised by my mother in a single parent home. She was, and still is, a “career woman” who provided for us to the point where I never in my life have felt unstable. As a teenager, many of my friends were also from divorced homes, and it all felt pretty normal. Truthfully, what felt awkward was a happily married couple taking active rolls in their children’s daily activities. As a slightly jaded and independent young man I typically did not prefer this scenario.

Looking back though, I realize that perhaps the real reason that I felt uncomfortable in these situations was the presence of the father. There was very little older male influence for me growing up and I noticed that with this influence came a whole new set of rules that I was not used to and did not like. Even my own father, whom I love and respect very much, was not one to impose his discipline on me.

My home life was a lesson in feminine culture. Nurturing, beautiful, and creative, even my mother’s career was an example of how feminine cultures place less emphasis on gender roles (Floyd 51). The problem lay in that my families’ values were not and are not the norm in the rest of society. I am not claiming that this is a problem for society necessarily, but it was a problem for me growing up and trying to socialize.

The masculine home had more order. There were more valuables you couldn’t touch, more rules to the games you played, more supervision, the wife often didn’t work, and the father was often a somewhat aloof figurehead, all correlating with a traditionally more achievement based masculine culture (Floyd 51).

I do not disagree with the values of a more traditionally masculine way of life. I know that the boundaries are there for our protection and that the competitiveness is designed to help us achieve. However, I still have to make a conscious effort in adapting to such an environment. It is my hope that when it comes time to raise my own family my wife and I will be able to encourage the positives of both masculine and feminine culture and produce a child that is comfortable in either.


Floyd, Kory. "Culture and Gender." Interpersonal Communication: The Whole Story. Ed. Nina Meyer. USA: McGraw-Hill, 2010. 51-52. Print.